HisCoffeeSpoons

 Hey! Sorry I forgot that I used to write this?!??!  HOW'S YOU?  I am alright, I am good!!!  NO YOU'RE NOT! I am fine  K.BYE. Okay I sick, fever and a little stressed over so many things. I am clueless and scared too. Everything is messed up, I can't untangle my emotions, my feelings, and my life's mystery. This sucks 🥲 OKAY! TRY HARDER NEXT TIME! what? You won't give a lecture?  ARE YOU TELLING ME THE TRUTH? okay!!!! Bloody hell *Ron's style* okay I am sad. And stressed out because of so many things and imma list them for you! ~What if exams were offline and I won't be able to pass anyone of them. Yk it's hard  ~ I cannot cry, again. I am bottled up  ~ Don't know how to complete my pending tasks ~ I am sick, yk I took 3 tabs togather?!  ~ mum and papa don't let me be in peace  ~ I want to have a good crying session ~not ready to go to college ~ pre-assuming things  ~ fear of being alone ~ kanu wants me to come meet her, I don't wa...

So yeah hey, I am fine now, literally living :)  Okay, so it has been hard for me to process my emotions and feelings. I can not understand myself only it's pissing me off. I get irritated easily, but it's not like me. It's like I am a different person, and I don't like this new person. Umm am I even making sense? *Raanjhana in bg*  I am arguing with people for no cause, fighting with mum, and staying away from family. These deadly thoughts are so worse. Duh, sometimes I think why do I have such an ability to think about things in deep? I don't freaking want it. I want to be normal. I don't want an extraordinary life I just want to be happy and at peace :) this is what I am asking for. But I ain't getting it soon ig.  The only fun moment for weeks has been me watching CID. I am planning to wake up early in the morning and drinking water and meditating later having black coffee and studying ig. *mai pershaan on loop in bg* I wanted to share something;-; it...

 Well, I can't say rn that how am I feeling. I am numb. I don't know what to do actually! Yk you are at that phase of life where everything just happens and you just sit down and see it happening and you don't know how to react because if you do react it can turn worse(pre-assuming)and overthinking!  Sometimes I feel life is better without me, like no me, no blah blah blah blah! Life kinda sucks, but it's beautiful too. Well, it cannot be all good every time. I have to face bad after good! Yeah? Right?  What is my life about? What are my goals? My dreams? What am I living for?  I think I am just doing what needs to be done, and not living for the future! But kab tak?  Bruh! You have to decide what you are living for, else you will be clueless and will roam here and there!  Well, I do have some dreams! Not going to Japan and all, it is one of the few. Sometimes I feel I took it the wrong way:/ this whole engineering thing sucks nuts XD  BUT KNOW WHAT?...